Grad School Barbie

Kristin you should enjoy this!!

Graduate School Barbie comes in two forms: Delusional Master's Barbie
(tm) and Ph.D. Masochist Barbie (tm).

Every Graduate School Barbie comes with these fun filled features
guaranteed to delight and entertain for hours: Grad School Barbie comes
out of the box with a big grin on her face that turns into a frown after
2 weeks or her first advisor meeting (whichever comes first). She also
has adorable black circles under her delightfully bloodshot eyes.

Comes with two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans and 5 year old gap
T-shirt, and a floppy pair of gray sweatpants with a matching "Go S***w
Yourself" T-shirt. Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on
her left hand and hear her say such upbeat grad school phrases like,
"Yes, Professor, It'll be done by tomorrow", "I'd love to rewrite" and
"Why didn't I just get a job, I could have been making $40,000 a year by
now if I had just started working with a Bachelor's. But noooooo, I wanted a masters degree, I wish somebody would drop a bomb on
the school so that I'd have an excuse to stop working on my degree
that's sucking every last drop of life force out of my withered and
degraded excuse for a soul..." (9V lithium batteries sold separately)

Grad School Barbie is anatomically correct to teach kids about the
exciting changes that come with pursuing a higher education. Removable
panels on Barbie's head and torso allow you to watch as her cerebellum
fries to a crispy brown, her heart race 150 beats per minute, and her
stomach lining gradually dissolve into nothing. Deluxe Barbie comes with
specially designed eye ducts. Just add a little water, and watch Grad
School Barbie burst into tears at random intervals. Fun for the whole
family!

Other accessories include:

Grad School Barbie's Fun Fridge (tm) Well stocked with microwave
popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice Bologna (99% fat free!),and a small
bottle of Mattel Brand Rum (tm).

Grad School Barbie's Medicine Cabinet comes in Fabulous (pepto-bismal)
pink and contains Barbie sized bottles of Advil, St. Johns Wort, Zantac,
and your choice of three fun anti-anxiety drugs! (Barbie Medicine
Cabinet not available without a prescription).

Grad School Barbie's Computer Workstation. Comes with miniature obsolete
PC (in pink of course), rickety desk, and over a dozen miniature
Mountain Dew cans to decorate your workstation with (Mountain Dew
deposit not included in price. Tech support sold separately).

And Grad School Barbie is not alone! Order now and you'll get two of
Barbie's great friends! GRADUATE ADVISOR KEN, Barbie's mentor and
advisor in her quest for knowledge, higher education and decreased self
esteem.

Grad Advisor Ken (tm) comes with a supply of red pens and a permanent
frown. Press the button to hear Grad Advisor Ken deliver such wisdom to
Barbie as "I need an update on your progress," "I don't think you're
ready to defend yet", and "This is no where near ready for publication."


Buy 3 or more dolls, and you can have Barbie's Thesis Committee! (Palm
Pilot and tenure sold separately.)

REAL JOB SKIPPER, When Barbie needs to talk, she knows that she can
always count on her good friend Real Job Skipper (tm), who got a job
after getting her bachelor degree. Press the button to hear Real Job
Skipper say, "Sometimes I wish I went for my masters degree" and "Work
is so hard! I had to work a half an hour of overtime!" Real Job
Skipper's Work Wardrobe and Savings account sold separately.

WARNING: Do not place Grad Student Barbie and Real Job Skipper too close
to each other, as there have been several cases of children leaving the
room and coming back to find Barbie's hands mysteriously fused to
Skipper's throat.